As you know I decided to come back and resume my rightful position as chief author of WASP 101. Never again will I let the anonymous haters discourage my efforts. I guess I just grew tiresome of having to delete so many disgusting comments on a daily basis, but I am over it. So in honor of all the haters, I have a story you will just love. And while telling it, I am going to post photos of my new Donegal tweed Southwick jacket that I recently purchased. The jacket is paired with brown chinos, pink oxford cloth button-down, and Brooks Brothers bow tie. Now, let us begin the story that will make the hater’s skin crawl.
Before I met my lovely wife whom I am truly faithful to, I was a womanizer. I purposely set out to break hearts and date as many girls as I possibly could at one time. My senior year of college, I dated more than 35 girls that I took out more than once. Counting the girls I only went out with once raises the total to 53 in one year. Did I ever get caught? Yes! But, I loved it! Once I was dating four girls at one time, and it crashed and burned all in one night. My father made me get a job at the grocery store to build character he said. And while working at the store, I starting dating three of the girls which I kept going for a month before it crashed. It came to a screeching halt one night while I was working with S, and we had plans after work. Unfortunately, L showed up unexpectedly and waited for me to get off work. Well, what was a boy to do……….So I decided to proceed with plans with S, and do so by sneaking out after work. My boy B aided by punching my time card out, and by taking my teal to the manager's office as I slipped out the back door and got in the car with S. It all worked except for L seeing me get into the car with S who had got off work 1hr. before me. L burst into tears according to B, and she was devastated. Unfortunately, the story spread throughout the store, and L 2 found out. What did I end up with relationship wise for a short period of time from all of this? Alone is the answer, but what a fun month.
As a 31 year old, I do feel bad for acting that way in my youth. My habits continued until I was about 23, but eventually I did see the error of my ways. If any of you girls are out there and still care, I do apologize and I mean that.
Ralph's version of the unlined Weejun. The spot for the penny is replaced by a crest :) I paired them with very pale yellow socks......this is as close as I will get to wearing white socks.
34 comments:
Richard,
I like the shoes, reminds me of something, but I can't put my finger on it. The shirt works well with the jacket and tie you've choosen, however I'm not so sure about the socks. I know, I know, me and socks. You could have gone with a cream colored sock instaed of the pale yellow.
Can't do cream poloist, I just can't !
Richard, I love your new blog layout design. It is beautiful! Worthington, sorry but I didn't like the greenish/blue and yellow houndstooth. It looked a little feminish.
Richard:
I understand the Polo website does not offer a primer in condensing anecdotes into aphorisms, but must you burden us with the piggily wiggily, winn-dixie intrigues? Was the entire event incapable of being expressed in a few worthy sentences?
That jacket is a rather strange application of the pixelated material used in the current fatigues of the armed forces. Is this a GOP inspired support the troops article for the southern small town paper photo op or are you enlivening your readings in the study as you plot the solution to Vietnam whilst reading a Westmoreland biography?
Poloist,
The shoes ! They remind you of the suede ones you have. They are the same make and model.
Where did you purchase that jacket ?
At Varsity Men's Wear in Raleigh, NC. I bought it on one of my business trips there.
1. There is no shame in living around NC. Nobody believes that you buy all of your clothes on 'business trips.'
2. This is actually a jacket a WASP would wear, although theirs would not be so brand spanking new.
3. Sorry, I couldn't make it through another fantasy tale. I'm assuming S stands for Serena Van Der Woodsen.
4. Hmm, Richard is a self-describer former-womanizer while alter-ego Worthington is still one. Shocker.
"Can't do cream poloist, I just can't !"
WHAT?!?! Then why the love of cream trousers?
I’m not sure if this tale is based on Gossip Girl or Animal House.
Besides the obvious grammatical errors, I must agree with non-such that this story was quite painful to read. When referring to characters in the third person, using a one letter initial (ala Gossip Girl) is quite annoying. Date1 & Date2 would suffice. No one cares about “your boy B” since he is not critical to the story. Referring to him simply as a friend/coworker would help the flow tremendously.
Except for the loafers and girlie dog, you don’t look like a total boob for a change.
The tale is a true story DM, and I don't look like a boob as you say....ever. Furthermore, my dog is not a girlie dog...........
Anonymous -- you must have made it through most of the story to notice that I referred to Stephanie as S.
I like the loafers, and cute dog!
glad you're back and oooh you were so bad!
kHm
The jacket is fantastic.
I saw a pair of those shoes on ebay, and considered them.
The story is interesting...but I prefer the clothing.
Richard,
I like the shade of pink of your shirt. Could you tell us who made it? Polo has great pink oxford, but I am not big on the pony logo.
Thanks.
Richard,
All grammar and other such comments aside, your dog is a girlie dog. Not that there is anything wrong with that. But a real WASP would have a Lab or a Golden Retriever, or a Jack Russell for the smaller pet. A daschund (Proper spelling?), is a girlie dog.
Finally, a jacket that fits you (and in a great fabric, as well).
Enjoy!
Richard,
That is also the tackiest end table I have ever encountered in my life. Seriously, do you find it attractive? Maybe because your town house is too small to fit an actual library you pretend to have one by implementing a table made of faux-oversized books? And to top it with a duck lamp? Someone read the OPH too frequently and assumed EVERYTHING with ducks is acceptable in the house. Also that persian rug is far too new to be genuine, a real WASP's would be a worn tattered POS because it would've been passed down through the family.
On a much more positive note: I do very much like the vintage car on the garish table - little trinkets like that are very WASPy and appreciated.
And, not to be pretentious, though it is certainly going to come across as such and I accept this - the painting on your wall of the huntsmen and dogs is just a reprint because I own the original. Compliments on the fine taste in paintings though.
_S_
Whether you are a WASP or not, you are certainly rich. Heck, look at all the shoes, Brooks, Ralph, Southwick clothing you model. It is apparent that it is all new, so you are definitely a rich kid. I don't buy that you live in a town house either (not that you claim you do), because I remember a huge pastorial scene behind your deck. Maybe we should call you Richie Rich.
Nice jacket. One "yes" vote. I'd guess it is really nice w/ a white shirt. Enough said.
(Esp since we don't want to get into the rather sticky, uncomfortable feelings in reaction to the new music at top of playlist. Is this site an NBC "Catch a Predator" setup?)
The jacket would go great w/ dark brown wool trousers and a different colored shirt.
Too much khaki.
Thanks for the site.
Welcome back.
Guess what your payback will be for your younger years?
God will give you daughter of your own. (Ha!)
Kathie
I just like Michael Jackson's 80s music.......not today's freaky Michael. That is it, and I chose "Beat It" as a message to the anonymous haters.
We get you are young and your stuff, clothing and furniture, is new (obviously everything starts out new). I thought the whole "WASP" thing was about NOT wearing labels and NOT looking contrived and NOT caring what others think (although we all know that cannot be true). Yet your posts, or the pictures in them, revolve around Ralph Lauren and too much effort.
We can pick his stuff up at outlet malls. How is this "WASP"y
Also, if you are going to edit out comments - edit them out. Don't leave some and state "don't piss me off" in another comment.
This just makes you look like a proletarian and makes this little stop on the World Wide Web an effort to cover your less than regal upbringing.
Its OK not to be born with a silver spoon up your ass, then act like you were – just don’t make it so obvious, please.
Your blog, short of this, is entertaining and informative. I like the sartorial content and seeing your preferences – I sometimes even get inspiration from them.
I will, however, stop reading if these asinine comments continue to goad you into immature responses. You are better than this, act like the ducks you display and let it roll off your back.
Remember, you are past your youth and a whopping 31 years of age. Lets act like it then!
Sorry - surely this will be edited - if I have pissed you off that is.
I was trying to figure out if there might be a mathematical formula that one could derive from your story...
( S + L ) * b2 = 53
Jeffrey,
The comments I post that seem hateful are mild at best compared to the others. I posted Non_Such because it was only borderline insulting to me, but he was close to making me a little mad. I do consider myself to be a duck as you say........I mostly let things just roll off my back.
As far as wearing labels go, well how do you avoid that. Walmart, etc. does not sell WASPy clothing and that leaves a person with Brooks, Press, and Ralph. I have just as much or actually a lot more Brooks than Ralph garments. Most of my custom made suits are either Brooks, Coppley, or Southwick. As far as the new goes, well.....thank God my parents are still alive. I haven't inherited all the family heirlooms yet. Anyway, I respect your criticism, and I will or have removed the comment I made.
“I guess I just grew tiresome”
And ever more so?
“My father made me get a job at the grocery store to build character he said.”
Didn’t work, did it?
Very nice jacket, good shirt and tie.
Iron the shirt.
Don't fret too much over past histrionics. We all did things in our twenties that don't look as cool through the rear view mirror.
Richard,
Why did you delete my comment that your payback for your youth would be 'having all daughters?'
I was only joking. I hope you don't mistake me for your 'haters.'
kathie
kathie,
I must have done it by mistake, sorry!
Finest sportcoat you've ever worn on this site. Magnificent!
Regarding the person who said, "iron the shirt"-- a WASP generally would not bother; not when one is not going out to a formal function. In fact, my husband can be found at home with khakis, casual blazer, and one side of his Oxford shirt sticking out of his trousers, as if he forgot to tuck it in. Be a little "messy," and you will fit right in, especially if your bow tie is eschew.
People who are being rude on this site are also NOT true WASPs, at least not as old as my family; we would NEVER be so unkind. Also, regarding the person's comment about your "girlie dog," I am a WASP and I have owned Corgis, Schipperkes, Italian Grey Hounds, and, yes, even a Dachsund! I would not have the energy for a larger dog at my age, although my siblings do have Labradors for hunting (they also have pugs and corgis--girlie dogs anyone?-- for general in-house comforts). Plus, I travel more than most, and prefer the smaller lap dog, and they are ideal for traveling. Also, we do sometimes buy brand new clothes, folks! We do tend to prefer clothes that do not show an "obvious" label, however. I really dislike the huge Polo pony shirts. I only purchased Brooks Brothers polo shirts when the embossed lamb was same color as fabric, and so, difficult to see unless standing very close. Now, they are often embroidered in gold, and are too "out there" for my tastes. Finally, we WASPs love ALL dogs, in all sizes. Keep your "girlie dog," Richard, and wear critter pants (to some, those would be considered "girlie trousers"). A WASP will never fault you for your love of any dogs, Labrador or Dachsund. And we will never fault you for your attention to looking as gentlemanly as possible--a quality lacking in rapperdom nowadays.
I just noticed you seem to have wall-to-wall carpeting. To be a WASP you absolutely must rip this out. Get wood flooring and generously scatter old Persian rugs about, especially so your cute little pooch doesnt' slip and hurt himself---unfortunately, one of the possible dangers with such floors in WASP cottages. Just giving you tips, nothing cruel is meant. You may of course keep your carpeting if you wish.
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